La silla ecléctica

Pie de foto

Marzo 12th, 2007 by Sergio

Union de Señoras Liberales por España
Conchi se levantó temprano para hacer la compra. Hoy era un día especial, no podía perder demasiado tiempo en el super. En realidad ya todos los sábados eran especiales y casi no podía recordar a que dedicaba las tardes antes de que ETA declarara la tregua.
Volviendo del mercado pasó por la peluquería de Encarnación, que se encontraba terminando de esparcir laca a un antinatural y abultado peinado rubio.
- ¿Han llegado ya las banderas?
- Si, ayer las dejaron aquí los de correos. El internet es lo mejor para comprar cosas asi.
- ¿Vamos a ir todas?
- Claro, las de siempre. Justo ahora se lo estaba contando a Rosa y dice que se viene con nosotras.
El pelo rubio antinatural se giró hacia Encarna:
- Es que hoy ya tenía que ir. No puedo quedarme en casa con lo que esta pasando, que es una vergüenza, que estamos gobernados por los terroristas.
- Ay hija, di que sí, que tenemos que echarlos entre todos. Además, ya verás que bien te lo pasas, sobre todo cuando toda la gente empieza a cantar a la vez, es muy bonito.
- ¡O cuando pasa algun famoso cerca con su escolta!. A ver si hoy tenemos suerte y vemos a Aznar.
- Fíjate, la semana pasada vimos a Zaplana de lejos.
- ¡Vaya¡ ¡Y que moreno está el hombre!.
- ¡¡Moreno y lo que no es moreno!!, que menuda percha. Es un caballero, pero caballero caballero.
- ¿Si? ¡Ay que emoción! Yo quiero ver a Acebes y darle dos besos, que sólo Dios sabe lo que España le debe a ese hombre.
- Pues si queremos verlos tenemos que irnos pronto. A las tres y media, por lo menos, hay que estar allí para pillar sitio cerca de la cabecera.
- ¿Y no será peligroso?
- No mujer, allí somos todos gente de bien. Y me voy ya que tengo que preparar la paella, que si no los niños se me quejan. Avisa a las otras cuando las veas y a las 2 y media salimos.

Satisfecha por ser fundadora de un grupo local cada vez mas numeroso, Conchita caminó hacia casa. Mientras limpiaba los calamares para el arroz iba escuchando en la Cope los detalles: La de hoy iba a ser la mejor, de los dos millones no bajarían, eso seguro. Si terminaba pronto incluso podría darse un paseo por Serrano a ver los escaparates.
Estaba pletórica. No podía recordar un año menos aburrido, cada sábado superaba en diversión al anterior. En las primeras le daba un poco de vergüenza cantar alto pero ya hasta le gritaba a los de TVE cuando los veía grabando: ¡¡Sinvergüenzas, Terroristas, Queremos saber la verdad!!! Había olvidado totalmente a qué dedicaba antes las tardes de los sábados, y su bote de Prozac aún resistía casi lleno en el armario.
Hace un mes la vecina del tercero la vio en telemadrid, y desde entonces Conchi no descuida un detalle. Ni para las bodas dedicaba tanto tiempo. “Nunca sabes cuando pueden enfocarte”, se repetía frente al espejo sosteniendo en una mano unos vaqueros y en la otra una perfecta chaqueta violeta.
- ¿Crees que hará mucho calor esta tarde? - preguntó desde el dormitorio a su marido, que comía avellanas en el salón.
- En la tele dicen que en Barcelona habrá 20 grados con un 4% de humedad relativa y viento bajo, aquí no sé.
- ¿Hoy no vas a venir?
- No, llevan desde ayer con un previo especial del partido y voy a verlo aquí con los niños.
- Mira que eres. Cuando nos metan unos ocupas etarras en el piso de benidorm entonces te quejarás.
- No me jodas concha que yo fui quien te llevó a la primera.
- Si, a la primera, pero este no sabe lo que nos jugamos- refunfuñó en voz baja.
De vuelta la cocina subió el volumen a la tele donde ya empezaba “Corazón, Corazón”.
“Que bien se conserva la Obregón. ¡Y que estilazo! ¿Y si le digo a Paco de hacerme un implante de esos? Ya que él se ha comprado el plasma…El sofrito ya está, ahora el arroz”
Sin avisar, un fugaz pensamiento la avergonzó: “Como los rojos no vuelvan a ganar, a ver que coño hago yo los sábados”

Filed under Relatos, Politica, Frikadas having

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